


Secret Shame

by drakecestanon



Category: Uncharted (Video Games)
Genre: Anal Sex, Brotherly Love, Drakecest Prompt Meme, Incest, Light Angst, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Porn, Porn with Feelings, Pornography, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-28
Updated: 2017-03-28
Packaged: 2018-10-11 22:04:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10475412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drakecestanon/pseuds/drakecestanon
Summary: For theDrakecest Prompt MemeSam used to do (amateur or professional) porn movies to get enough money for himself and Nate. One day Nate comes upon one of those videos. Bonus if he still thinks that Sam is dead at that point.I know that we already had a fill for this particular prompt, but I couldn't resist the bonus, and I already had this idea in my mind when I claimed the prompt.  So, have some sort of angsty porn as Nate finds out that Sam used to do porno flicks back in the day.  I was originally just going to end the fic at the break, but I couldn't just leave Nathan the way I did. :(





	

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [drakecestprompts](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/drakecestprompts) collection. 



Nathan hadn’t expected to be in a situation like the one he was currently in.  Although he guessed he should have seen the writing on the wall a long time ago, with how off and on his relationship with Elena had been over the years.  He and Elena thought that they could make their marriage _finally_ work somehow, that they could smooth out all of the bumps in the road, but it seemed like it just wasn’t to be.  The same problem between them kept resurfacing; she wanted Nathan to stop going on his wild pursuits, and he didn’t see what the big deal was.  Even if he got that maybe leaving in the middle of the night without saying goodbye was a _little_ much.  He had tried doing the ‘normal’ thing, by holding down a safe, regular job for a few years, but Nathan found himself getting bored easily and feeling like a bird trapped in a cage.  He needed to be free, and he wished that Elena could see that.  But he guessed he was free for _good_ now, to do whatever it was that he pleased, even though their pending divorce wasn’t anywhere near final just yet.  That thought was nowhere near comforting to him.

 

So that’s how Nathan found himself in a half-decent hotel room all by his lonesome.  He couldn’t make Elena leave their house, especially since she’d likely be the one who ended up getting it once everything was all said and done.  And he couldn’t go crawling to Sully, at least not _yet_.  He knew that his pseudo father figure would not be pleased about the fact that he screwed things up with Elena _again_ , and this time for the _last time_.  So Nathan needed some time to process the situation and come up with a way to gently bring up the subject to Sully, and hopefully in a way where he didn’t get disowned by him.  Not that he could actually get disowned by someone who had never legally adopted him in the first place, but he still didn’t want to lose his best friend.  Losing his wife was bad enough.  But for now, Nathan didn’t want to think about _anything_.  He needed a distraction, something, _anything_ , to get his mind off of what was happening in his personal life.

 

Nathan glanced over at the TV in the room, the one that was set on top of the dresser, figuring that it would be suitable for what he was seeking.  Maybe if he got lost in the world of a movie that would help put his mind at ease, even if it was just temporary.  Normally he’d look towards a book to aid in distracting him from the realities of the world, but somehow he figured that his mind would still snap back to the issues at hand, no matter how engrossing the story or the facts were.  So he searched out the small room, not taking long to find what he was looking for, the remote control that was sitting on the night stand.  Nathan picked up the device and turned on the TV before settling himself onto the queen-sized bed in the center of the room.

 

The first thing that came up on the screen was a menu for the hotel’s in-room entertainment, which was _exactly_ what Nathan was looking for.  As he glanced over the icons for the featured movies that month, he couldn’t help but notice the darker icon in the corner that was marked for adults only.  Normally he wouldn’t have given it any thought, but he _was_ looking for a distraction, wasn’t he?  What better distraction was there than watching a dirty movie, maybe getting off and then rolling over and falling asleep?  That sounded like a good idea, no, a _great_ idea to him, so he wasted no time in clicking on the appropriate icon to get to the adult entertainment.  So what if he felt _kind of_ like a creep doing it?  His wife was in the process of leaving him and he had been driven from his own house, he had his excuses.

 

Nathan scrolled through the numerous varieties of adult movies, each one offering a different pornographic flavor of some sort, whether it was a different kink or theme featured in it.  He paused when he happened upon something that seemed like it was _pirate themed_ of all things.  “ _Pirate Booty_?”  Nathan chuckled after reading the title out loud.  “You’d think that they’d come up with something more original,” he said to himself.  His curiosity got the best of him though, and he found himself clicking through to select that particular porno flick.  _I may regret this, hopefully I just didn’t waste ten bucks,_ Nathan thought as he leaned back into his pillow to ready himself for _whatever_ it was that he was about to be in for.

 

When the film started up, Nathan couldn’t help but notice that the movie looked a little _aged._   His fear that he had wasted his money was probably going to be a reality after all, if the hotel didn’t even have anything that was _current_.  Not that he was some great porn connoisseur, it had actually been a while since he’d watched an adult movie, but if he was going to pay for it, it might as well be something that was _recent_.  He snickered to himself at the cheesiness of some of, well _most of_ , the pieces of the set for the movie.  It definitely didn’t look like some higher budget film that was for sure, judging by the arts and crafts feel of what was supposed to pass for them being on a pirate ship.  But if they were going to just focus on the actors having sex, he guessed that it didn’t need to look _that_ realistic.

 

Nathan watched as the movie played out, with the actors on-screen dialoguing about some sort of treasure that they were trying to plunder, and the storyline, if you could even _call_ it that, seemed to be your typical pirate fare.  He was curious to see how _sex_ was going to play into the whole thing, but he figured he was going to get his answer when some of the other pirates had announced that they had caught a stowaway on the ship.  The captain of the ship demanded that the stowaway be brought forward to be properly punished for his crime, and when a tall, lanky,  very _familiar_ figure was shoved down onto the floor in front of him, Nathan nearly choked.

 

_There’s no way_ , Nathan thought to himself as he watched the actor who was playing the stowaway remain crouched down in front of the pirate captain.  He couldn’t see the face, but he knew that figure anywhere.  _It’s got to be a coincidence_ , he told himself as he involuntarily held his breath while he watched the scene play out on the screen.  _There’s no way…_ But when the captain ordered the stowaway to look up at him and the actor finally lifted his head up, Nathan couldn’t believe his eyes.

 

_“Sam?”_   Nathan quietly said out loud when he recognized the actor, his voice hitching and his mouth immediately going dry when he recognized the porn actor to be his long-lost, _dead_ brother.  A thousand things ran through his mind at the sight of Sam on his TV screen, one of them being, _I need to turn this off right now_.  After that fateful day in Panama, when he had lost his brother for good, he hadn’t even been able to look at pictures or talk to _anyone_ about Sam.  And that included Sully and Elena.  The loss had been devastating, and in order to protect himself and his feelings, Nathan had shoved all of his memories of his older brother into a deep, dark corner of both his heart and his mind, not intending to ever pull them back out again.  But now, out of nowhere, he was forced to face the ghosts of his past, and through a _porno flick_ of all things.  He fumbled to grab the remote, intending to shut off the TV before the emotions had a chance to bubble up inside of him, but once his brother started speaking on the screen, he paused.  Sam’s voice was so familiar, and so soothing, and shit, he _really_ missed it.  “Sam,” Nathan whispered to the TV screen, feeling hot tears starting to prick at the corners of his eyes, the years of repressed memories and feelings easily threatening to overtake him, and he hiccupped as he tried to hold back a cry.

 

_Why was Sam doing this?_   Nathan questioned to himself as he remained fixated on the screen, watching as his brother was forcefully dragged away to the captain’s bedchambers, grossly aware that he was about to watch his dead, older brother have sex with another man on the TV screen, but he just _couldn’t_ stop watching.  Nathan placed Sam to probably be about nineteen, maybe twenty in the movie, but as far as he remembered, Sam had a proper job at that time.  It was just enough to keep a roof over their heads and some food in their bellies, so why was his brother taking part in some third-rate porno?  _Because that was his job_ , Nathan answered himself internally, putting two and two together when he thought back to their younger days.  Sam would often be out all night until early in the morning, and when he came home to collapse into their shared bed once the sun was up, he’d just murmur something about someone having to pay the bills.  Nathan had _no idea_ that his job was making cheapo porno flicks, at least, not until now.  But then again, Sam never _really_ told him what his job was.  Just that it was something that had odd hours of work.  And who was he to question his brother about it?  But Nathan caught on now, that Sam had _intentionally_ kept the details of his profession a secret.  In order to protect _him_.  “Shit, _Sam_ ,” he muttered as a tear escaped and rolled down his cheek.  Nathan had _no_ clue about the things that his older brother had done to keep the two of them fed and clothed when they were younger, but he realized that Sam had _really_ cared for him deeply and wanted to take care of him, even if he had to do some _less_ than desirable work.  Who was he kidding?  It was pretty much legal prostitution that his older brother had been partaking in.  But he did all it for him. 

 

Nathan gave a sniffle as he continued to watch what was happening on the screen, which showed his brother being forced onto a bed, while pleading with the ship captain for his life.   Sam instead offered up his body in exchange for the crime that he had committed, and predictably, the captain agreed to the deal.  Nathan had seen enough porn flicks in his life to figure out _that_ was where the plot was going in this particular story.  He started to feel a little sick when Sam’s clothes began to get stripped off of his body by the captain’s first mate, who was helping out with the _punishment_ , but the sight of his brother’s bare skin also brought up some _other_ memories he’d had of Sam, ones that he had purposely kept shoved down in the deepest depths of his brain.  He and Sam had been close, _very_ close to each other, but no one knew exactly _how_ close they were.  Not even Sully knew their deepest, darkest secret, and they both intended to keep it that way.  So when Nathan lost Sam, it was no wonder that he practically fell apart and fell into a deep depression for quite some time.  One that took him a _long_ time to get out of, and if it hadn’t been for Sully’s help at the time, he may have _never_ gotten out of it.

 

In the movie, the captain had shed his clothing as well and lumbered onto the bed where Sam was helplessly waiting for him while completely naked.  Nathan hadn’t really been paying attention to what the other actors looked like, he could only focus on his deceased brother on the screen.  He held his breath as he watched the person who was playing the captain kneel in front of Sam, and ordered his brother on his hands and knees in order to take his cock into his mouth.  Sam of course obliged, and as he watched his big brother debase himself in the movie, Nathan felt the overwhelming need to look away.  But he couldn’t.  He observed raptly as Sam slid the half-hard length into his mouth and started working at it with his tongue and lips, which caused memories to start flooding back into his brain.  Memories that Nathan had _tried_ to keep at bay, memories of Sam doing the same thing to him or the other way around, and he was embarrassed to find himself getting _aroused_ over it.  Nathan chided himself, thinking that he really shouldn’t be getting a hardon over seeing his dead brother giving head, but he couldn’t help it, it was almost a Pavlovian response, one that he had done well to suppress for a long, _long_ time.  Until now.

 

Nathan swallowed roughly as he dared to let his hands creep down to the fly of his pants, unbuttoning and unzipping them easily so that he could slide a hand into his underwear, grasping at his erection within.  He didn’t look away from the screen though, even though he really _should_ have, but Nathan couldn’t stop watching as Sam serviced the other man, recalling how warm and wet his brother’s mouth was.  It was something he’d _never_ forget, although for all intents and purposes, it would probably be best for him if he _did_.  Sam was gone from the world, dead, and as much as it pained him to think about it, he’d never see his beloved big brother ever again, no matter how much he wanted to, and no matter how hard he wished for it.

 

The thought only caused more tears to well up in Nathan’s eyes, but that didn’t stop him from stroking himself to what was happening on the TV, and he admitted to himself that he definitely had the _weirdest_ boner at that moment.  He’d heard about people crying as they had gotten off, but did they cry while they watched their dead brother perform sexual acts on other people _and_ get off to it?  Probably not.  He conceded that _maybe_ he finally needed to go see that therapist that Elena had been begging him to go see, before they finally separated.  Maybe he _did_ have some issues that needed to be worked out.  Okay, who was he kidding?  Nathan _knew_ that he had some issues.  A major one being that he had a complex over his brother who had been dead for fifteen years.  But that could wait.  For now, he was going to live in the moment, a moment where Sam was actually alive and _real_.  Even if he was only an image on a television screen.

 

Eventually Sam and the other actor moved on to getting down to business, with Sam spreading his legs for the ship captain and Nathan sucking in a breath as he watched his brother get speared by another man’s dick.  Nathan continued to jerk his cock while he watched Sam take it from the actor, the close-ups allowing him to drift into a fantasy of it being _him_ who was fucking his brother, and he recalled a time when he and Sam had done just that.  They were running high off of adrenaline after a job well done, having managed to break and enter into a house that yielded cash _and_ weapons, giving them enough so that they could stay fed and housed for a while, as well as the means to look into finding the elusive treasure that belonged to Captain Avery.  Nathan remembered it well, even after all of the years that had gone by, the way they were both rain soaked due to an unexpected rainstorm on their way home, and the bitter flavor of the cigarette that Sam had just smoked as their mouths clashed in a passionate kiss.  Electricity had coursed through his veins as he shoved Sam onto the bed, wet clothing be damned, and they rutted against each other desperately while clothes were urgently tugged off and tossed aside.  When Nathan had finally gotten both himself _and_ Sam ready, and he plunged deep into the warm depths of his older brother, it was like _euphoria_ , something that not even illicit drugs could ever touch on the sensation of.  Nathan groaned softly as he flashed back to that time, that feeling, and jerked himself harder at the memory.  He remembered how tight his older brother felt, the way he squeezed around him with each thrust, and how Sam’s eyebrows would furrow whenever he pushed in all the way.  When Nathan glanced at his older brother on the screen, he wore the same expression on his face just as he remembered, and his torso tensed at the memory.

 

By the time the movie got to its climax, Nathan was about to lose it himself, his cock getting rigid in his grip as he remained lost in his memories of his older brother.  When he heard Sam panting and moaning in the movie as he was on his way to orgasm, that was enough to send Nathan over the edge himself, and he quickly tugged his shirt up with his free hand in order to streak his release over his muscled belly.  He moaned as a wave of pleasure washed over him, and he opened his eyes back up just in time to see Sam make a mess of his own stomach on the TV.  Nathan remembered that as well, how Sam would clench around his cock when he came, while squeezing his eyes shut and uttering a moan from the depths of his throat.  As the pleasant buzz pulsing through his body started to fade, Nathan was grossly reminded of what he _just_ did as the sticky mess on his stomach started to cool.  But he didn’t get up to clean himself off until the movie faded to black, not wanting to miss out on any footage of his older brother.  When he carefully got up to make his way to the bathroom, not wanting to make a bigger mess than he already had, the gravity of what he had just done started to weigh down on him, and tears welled up in the corners of his eyes once again.

 

Nathan sniffled as he wiped himself off with some tissues, and once he was decent, he stripped himself of all of his clothes except for his underwear, and tossed them aside, not really caring if they wrinkled or not.  The hot tears started to stream down his cheeks as he headed back to the bed, and he flopped down on the mattress while burying his face into one of the pillows.  He missed Sam _so_ much, and those feelings easily came rushing back to take the place of the arousal that had faded away.  He sobbed into the pristine white pillow, just as heartbroken as he was that fateful day that took Sam away from him, until eventually he got exhausted enough so that he drifted off to sleep.  Nathan didn’t want to think about the brother that he had lost, the wife that he had lost, or the life he had lost anymore that night, and thankfully slumber at least gave that to him.

 

* * *

 

So when two weeks passed, and Nathan’s long lost brother showed up at his job early in the morning, he was over the _moon_.  After a tearful reunion and him having to pinch himself several times to make sure that what he was seeing was really _real_ , Nathan and Sam sat down on the bench outside of his office to catch up with each other.  They chit chatted about everything and anything, and when Sam brought up what he had heard of Nathan’s exploits in prison, Nathan of course had to collaborate that what his big brother had heard was _true_.  And he didn’t skimp on any of the details, he knew that Sam would want to know and hear about _everything_.

 

Eventually they started to talk to each other about childhood memories and their younger years _before_ they had tragically lost one other, and Nathan recalled the night that he had discovered the porno that Sam had been a star in.  “Hey so, Sam?”  Nathan asked as he looked into Sam’s hazel eyes, noticing that lines were worn into his skin at the corners now, lines that weren’t there when they were younger, lines that were no doubt due to the harsh years of doing hard time.  “I uh, I kind of ran across a _movie_ that you were in.”

 

“A movie?”  Sam asked as he was about to take a puff of his cigarette, pausing just before he placed the butt of it to his lips.  Once he realized _what_ Nathan was talking about, his eyes got wide and he held up his other hand as if to hide his face with it.  “Oh, shit.  You saw…?”  Sam sighed as he let his head droop.  “Nathan, you weren’t supposed to know about that.”

 

“Yeah, I saw,” Nathan answered as he crossed his arms in front of his chest and heaved his own sigh.  “Kind of funny what kinds of movies they have in your hotel room nowadays.”

 

“Nathan, I did that for us, for _you_ ,” Sam explained, as he placed a reassuring hand on his little brother’s shoulder.  “I did it so that we had a place to live, food to eat, clothes to wear.  I had to do whatever I could do in order to take care of _you_.”

 

Nathan couldn’t help but chuckle softly as Sam spoke, since he already _knew_ the explanation before it tumbled out of Sam’s mouth.  “I know, I know,” he said as he lifted a hand to touch Sam’s.  “I have no place to judge.  We both had to do what we needed to do in order to survive.  Hell, you should be asking me why I was in a hotel room by myself watching a porno that was starring my older brother.  Who I thought was dead.”

 

This time it was Sam’s turn to laugh.  “What you do in your private time isn’t any business of mine,” he said jokingly as he moved his hand up to Nathan’s hair to give it a playful ruffle, just like back in the old days.  “But uh, I guess I have to ask, do you still uh… do you still feel the same way about me, like you did back then?  I mean, it’s been a long time and all.  And you did see that movie I did so…”

 

Sam got his answer when Nathan quickly closed the distance between them and pressed their lips together, kissing him so hungrily, as if it was for the last time.  With one hand tugging at the wavy hairs at the back of Sam’s head, and the other cupping his cheek, he deepened the kiss, and savored the flavor that he had missed for so, _so_ long. 

 

When they broke apart breathlessly, Sam just chuckled while looking over his younger brother.  “I guess that’s a _yes_ ,” he quipped before dropping his cigarette so that he could stamp it out with his foot.  As soon as he had put out the butt, he felt Nathan’s arms wrap tightly around him with a squeeze.

 

“Don’t ever leave me again,” Nathan said in a small voice as he pressed his face against his brother’s chest.  “It was so hard…”  His voice trailed off as his body started to quiver in soft sobs, and he buried himself into Sam’s t-shirt.

 

Sam easily returned the embrace and smoothed a reassuring hand over his little brother’s back.  “I promise you, I won’t.”  He leaned in to press a kiss to the top of Nathan’s head and murmured into his hair, “Never again.”


End file.
